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The haphazardly updated goings on of Overtime, at told by Potch
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Food For Thought, Kids...
Edward S. Potcher
My Rant On The Death Penalty
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Fat Bastard
The REAL Superman
Fat Bastards Go Home...
It's Not Funny Anymore, Assholes
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What Christmas Is All About
2002 Recap
Lucky Man
I Want This Job...
When Super Science Mingles With THe Bright Stuff Of Dreams
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Bring The Boys Back Home
The Courage Of His Convictions
Since When Does Speaking Your Mind Warrant Being Un-American?
Blame Fogerty?
Fuck Falwell!
Decided LACK Of A Gift For The Obvious
A Few Thoughts
George And Samuel L. Discuss The Next Star Wars Movie
Waitresses (To Tip Or Not To Tip)
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Oh Captain, My Captain
300 Wins, 4,000 Strikeouts and Tight Pants
The Dude Abides
Theory On God, Man And Hypocracy
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Mummy, Spidey & Mullholland
Goodbye, Dr. Green
Friends Season 8 Finale Rant
Attack Of The Clones Review
New Chili Peppers Album
Broken Axl
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Fuck CMT And Misinformation
Cirque Du Soleil: Varekai
Psychos In Love: The Play
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Monday, September 30, 2002

Getcher Freak On (Parts 1, 2 & 3)

Friday night...

Overtime plays the The Rattlesnake Ranch Cafe

This is one of the nicest, biggest and best places we play. The money is good and we get advertised on WDHA when we play there.

Plus, the crowd is usually between 100-200 people.

But Friday, Jersey was getting hit by the outskirts of that hurricane, Isabella (or something). So our crowd was about 50 people.

By about 11:30, we were down to about 25, but they were all really into the band; dancing, actively participating, clapping, singing along, requesting songs, even had one guy come up and sing a bunch of songs for us. (Gave me voice a rest for Saturday's show...)

The stage is set.


So, as we're playing, we notice that there's a couple at the bar who are paying no attention to anything but each other. Well, actually, everyone noticed them. It was hard not to.

They're making out to beat the band (literally), rubbing against each other and basically putting on a show. Our roadie, Darren (a perv if there ever was one...), sees them and suggests they get a room.

So they do.


Making out all the way over there, so everyone notices what's going on.

So they go in and everyone is like, "Are they...?" and "You don't think...?"

Well, when the song ended and the bar qwuieted down for a few seconds, it was BLATANTLY obvious what was going on in the handicapped stall. (One of the ladies went in to see what was going on and they never stopped...)

You could hear them from the bar.

So everyone is falling all over themselves laughing.

Danny and I start singing James Brown's "Sex Machine"

It gets a good laugh.

We then launch into our own song, "If I Were To..."

You know.

The one BLATANTLY about getting laid. ("If I could penetrate your maidenhead..." Jeez, guess what this then 21-year old's mind wandered onto a lot...)

People actually dance to it and laugh along with us.

We're all having a great time.

(But we ALL wish that WE were the ones getting laid.)

The couple finishes up and walks out hand-in-hand.

We all stop and give them a Standing O.

They barely acknowledge us... (It was THAT good, I guess... His shirt is all askew, he hair is all messed up... Both have that dreamy look in their eyes...)

We launch into "Bad Moon Rising" complete with the obligatory "They're in the bathroom on the right" and Danny's singing the verses describing what they were doing.

It gets a big laugh.


The couple starts making out again.

A little while later, I notice that she is behind him, with both arms around his sides and she's rubbing his crotch. His eyes are closed and he's obviously aroused again.

He turns around and they start making out again, he's fondling her at the bar. She then stands up, grabs his hand and goes back into the bathroom.

EVERYONE notices.

We're all laughing again.

Me (over the mic): Ding! Ding! Rrrrrrround TWO!

Darren goes over to the door and listens. He says fuck it and opens the door. We all see one of his hands and one of her hands on top of the stall.

We're pissing ourselves.

They're moaning.

Darren grabs Blair's digital camera and tells me to hold the door open.

I do.

He goes in and puts the camer over the stall and snaps a quick pic, flash and all.

They don't stop.

We all look at the picture. Forgot about the delay. It was a shot of the door as he pulled away.

We try again, this time, I catch a glimpse of them in the viewfinder...

Again, he pulled away too fast.

We try three more times with no luck of a "in action" shot.

To their (horror) credit, they never stopped until they were done.

They walked out to another Standing O.

They smiled.

I felt like we were a band doing porno background music...

(I may change the band slogan from "Working all day, rocking all nite" to "Overtime: Music to fuck to.")



You'd think that was the high point of the night.

You'd be wrong.

Not five minutes after they finish up, while we're packing up, we hear a holler at the bar. Everyone (most of the crowd is still there laughing about the live sex show) turns to see this Haitian woman punch her boyfriend (a 50-ish, thin, white guy) in the mouth.


She proceeds to KEEP punching him. He's trying to calm her down. She's yelling "You're MY man! God dammit, you're MY motherfuckingman!"

The bartender yells for her to take it outside.

She grabs her boyfriend's shirt and tosses him into the bathroom door.

As he's getting up, she pounces on him and tosses him down the corridor.

Again, as he's getting up, she gets to him, and slams him into the wall. She then fired off three punches to the top of his head. "YOU'RE MY FUCKING MAN!!!"

She throws him out the door.

Everyone is following them, absently saying for someone to call the cops.

In the parking lot, she hauls off and clocks him one that drops him like a ton of bricks. The bartenders come up and try to calm her down. She is now screaming and cursing them and hollering.

The boyfriend gets off the ground and slowly calms her down.

They then get into their Lufthansa mini-van and drive away.

Then the cops show up.

Of course.

I see the porno couple and they're leaving.

Me: "I'd say have a good night, but I think it's already been good enough to you both."

The bartender says to me: "You know, I figured the couple fucking in the bathroom would be the high point of the night..."

So there's our Friday night gig...

Lee 9/30/2002 01:50:00 PM [+]

Friday, September 27, 2002

Happy Birthday Rob!

Today is my friend Rob Matsushita's birthday!

Please click on the link in the title of this and check out the review of his latest play, Orange Murder Suit.

I swear, it almost, ALMOST makes me wish I lived in Madison.

But then I wake up and realize, hey, I'm not a Brewers fan...

Seriously, happy birthday Rob! Wishing you lots of love and happiness in the coming year!

BTW, if you don't know who Rob is, he is a playwrite from Madison, Wisconsin by way of Montclair, New Jersey. He and I were friends in high school and have re-connected thanks to this wonderful thing that Al Gore invented, the internet.

If you haven't read Rob's work, I suggest you go RIGHT NOW to the above link and check out his stuff. I'm not only his friend, but a huge fan of his. The boy can flat out write.

Lee 9/27/2002 01:22:00 AM [+]

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Fat Bastards Go Home...

Okay, I was hanging out over at FARK, checking on the latest updates. (Making sure to avoid all those ones marked boobies... Koff! Koff!)

And I found the link attached to the title of this post.

"New Law Seeks To Reduce Obesity."

So I say to myself, "What the fuck...?" and open that puppy up.

Sure enough, it seems that New York's Governor, George Pataki, has signed something called the Obesity Prevention Act. What it is turns out to be a document (perhaps a decree?) asking the New York Health Department to find ways to help New Yorkers reduce their obesity and get healthier.

The American Obesity Association (Or as the Italians call it, the Oh, Ay, Oh...) claims that the cost of fat people to the American Health System comes to about $100 million dollars a year. Obesity is also the second highest form or preventable death (next to perennial winner, smokin).

Folks, as you know, I am fighting my own fight with obesity, one that I've been losing for 32 years, but have currently turned the tide on for almost a month.

But I just can't resist.

You want to cure obesity? Take all the fat folk and ship them to Ethiopia. Then, help out with world hunger and take all the Ethiopians and bring them here. Eventually, the shit will start evening out.

Or how about a mandatory gag be placed on fat people's mouths for like 23.5 hours a day, let them take it out to eat once a day, and then only under armed supervision.

Or how about we up the health budget for the next three years to allow every overweight person to get a stomach stapling, as well as the psychiatric help to stop eating so damned much?

I guess the government is upset they can't get scientists to cure cancer, AIDS, malaria, anthrax, etc. So they wanted them to shoot for something with a higher rate of return.

Well, whatever.

All I can say is, Governor Pataki. I work in your fine state, and I am a Fat Bastard.

What'cha gonna do for me now?

Got a twinkie?

Just kidding...

How about a government subsidized handout?

I mean, even Atkins allows Government Cheese.

Lee 9/24/2002 12:18:00 PM [+]

Sunday, September 15, 2002

He Killed 16 Czechoslovakians, And He's An Interior Decorator...

Folks, I have been waiting for today for 16 months.

16 very LOOOONNNNNGGGGG months.

That's how long it has been since last we saw The Sopranos, with Uncle Junior singing us out right after Meadow took off across the street from Tony.

Now tonight, 9 PM EST, on HBO, the Sopranos return in all their (occasionally) gory glory.

Now now it's time for questions to be answered.

Who will buy the farm this year? What will happen to Ralphie in regards to Jackie Jr.? Will Dr. Melfi's rape come up again? Will Gloria resurface to make thing difficult for Tony? And what about that Czech in the Pine Barrens?

All I know is I am eagerly anticipating tonight's episode!

And on a side note...

My friend and UE's own Rob Matsushita debuted his new play, Orange Murder Suit, last night.

I say we all offer him a congratulatory note and wish his show the best of luck and nothing but sold out dates!

And to my old friend, you continue to impress me with the level and excellence of your writing. I know one day I'll be going to see one of your shows on Broadway.

Congrats, Rob!

Lee 9/15/2002 11:22:00 AM [+]

Thursday, September 12, 2002

The Rumor Mill

I love rumors about rock stars. I feed off of them some times. Here are three that I have heard recently.

Again, these are RUMORS, and nothing is SUBSTANTIATED.

1. Earlier this year, Roger Waters (formerly of Pink Floyd) happened upon his former band mate and current Floyd, Nick Mason in Barbados. They had dinner together.

Recently, Waters has been quoted as saying he would be open to the possibility of working with Floyd again. After all, they have come to an agreement to release "In THe Flesh" and "Echoes" in the past few years.

The rumor is that Waters long anticipated solo album (the follow-up to 1991's amazing "Amused To Death") is now becoming a Pink Floyd album, with a final tour to follow.

If this is true, I would be happier than you could possibly imagine.

2. Rumor has it that Robert Plant is pushing to reform Led Zeppelin and hit the road. Problem is, John Paul Jones is still miffed from several years back when Plant and Jimmy Page got together and never called their former bass player/keyboardist. This could happen, but it would likely take a bit of crow-eating on Plant's part.

3. Rumor has it that Van Halen's next lead singer... May be Sammy Hagar! Michael Anthony, still a close friend to Hagar, has supposedly been trying to push Eddie & Alex back with their former frontman. Sammy has publicly gotten over his anger at the brothers VH, so who knows. Again, this would be welcome news, as all I keep hearing about David Lee Roth is how bad his voice has gotten (again) and the complete and total asshole he has become.

So there you have it. Probably, all three are just hype and rumors, but if you're a fan of any of them like I am, you are hoping they are true.

Lee 9/12/2002 03:32:00 PM [+]

Wednesday, September 11, 2002


I write this from my computer at home, middle of the day, September 11th, 2002.

Shouldn't I be at work?

Yes I should. I took the day off.

Because I am sad? Because I am ready to burst into tears? Because I wish to honor the dead?

Partly... But mostly I am home because of fear.

Fear which has lived inside me as a kind of cancer that eats away at me from time to time. It rears it's head every morning I get on that Midtown Direct train into New York and wonder if I'll actually make it to Penn Station alive. It claws at me every day as the train enters the tunnel to go across the river, as I wonder if someone will blow up the train and I'll die in a flood of twisted metal, concrete and the river. It eats me up as I walk through Penn Station, wondering what would happen if someone crashed a plane into Madison Square Garden above me. I walk out onto 32nd Street and look at all the tall building around me and can see airplanes hitting them. I go into the subways and wonder if we'd be killed if someone were to detonate a nuclear device above us. I look suspiciously at all the helicopters that fly around the city, always NYPD choppers. I work at a Gentleman's club that has some of the oldest money in America as members. Surely, it COULD be a target. And right across the street, one of the richest (congregation-wise) synagogues in New York, which has had security for the last year, surely that would be a target as well.

I have this undercurrent of fear that eats at me the entire time I go to and am at work. Some days are better than others, some days worse. But the thought is always there.

It has made me appreciate my life a bit more, savor the things I love, hold my wife a little closer, a little longer. It makes me wonder why we are so hated that someone would consider killing themselves as a great and holy act if it involved hurting us.

When did America become the bad guys?

Ahhh, but that is just another stupid American question, now isn't it?

We've been the enemies for years, only we don't see it like that. We stand for freedom and democracy, and liberty and justice. How COULD we be the bad guys? Why don't others want to be like us? Why AREN'T they like us? Can't they see that this system is best?

Or so most Americans have been trained to think.

It all comes down to perception. We perceive things from the only vantage point we have, that of the wealthy (by the world's standards), lazy, fat, callous American, desensitized to violence, compassion and empathy.

We can't see the Bosnians point of view. Or the I.R.A.'s or the Sandinistas or the Czechnians or the South Africans or the Saudis or the Israelis or even the Al-Quaidas. We have no idea what their vantage point is. And we don't care either.

Henry Rollins once said that if someone was saying something he didn't agree with, he wouldn't boo and yell and tell him to shut up. He would sit and listen to him so he would know where the opposition stood, and why he, himself, was actually opposed to them.

Imagine that, a punk rocker actually more intelligent than most Americans out there, whose only concern is not what others think, but all about; "Me me me me me."

A perfect example of our callousness of our country is all the people around America who are "just over 9/11 and all." People in Chicago and Detroit, Miami and Los Angeles, Dallas and Seattle.

You know, those NOT living in New York/New Jersey or Washington D.C.

Yeah, well, I'm sick of it too, but I HAVE TO live with it on a day in and day out basis. I can't change the channel and forget about it. It stares me right in the face every damned day I go to New York City to go to work. It stares at me in the form of something lacking in the skyline. Two somethings, actually.

SOME of the people who don't live in an attacked area just don't get it.

I often wonder how people in Chicago would feel if the Sears Tower was attacked. Or Wrigley Field. Or the people in San Francisco if the Golden Gate were brought down. In L.A. if Hollywood were bombed. In St. Louis if the Arches tumbled, or the Space Needle in Seattle, or the refurbished downtown of Cleveland, or the Indy racetrack in Indianapolis. Imagine if you lived there and one day an airplane flew into them. And the wreckage lasted for more than a year, and everyday you had to drive past it, this place where thousands lost their lives. Maybe people you know. Maybe some you love. This ain't a test, this is the real deal.

WE in New York don't WANT to see this over and over. We're sick of being sad and angry and crying. But it doesn't go away for us like it does some other people. People who don't live where it happened, they can forget easier than we can.

Because outside of New York and Washington, no one really knows how it feels for it to happen TO YOU. It may as well have been Israel, or Bosnia, or Ireland to some.

It's the callousness I can't stand. It's the complete and utter lack of fucking empathy.

It's the; "God, I am just so SICK of 9/11 already..."

Guess what, so am I. And so are 9 million other New Yorkers and about six million other New Jerseyans and a couple of million in D.C. But we can't do ANYTHING about being sick of it. Because every fucking day it stares us right in the God-damned face. We CAN'T ignore it, we CAN'T change the channel and there's just NOTHING we can do about it...

This callousness and lack of empathy and compassion and whole "Well, it's all about me me me me me me me" attitude is part of the reason this happened to us. America is a nation of spoiled, ill-mannered, ill-tempered, forgetful and ignorant people who wouldn't know real fucking opression if it bit them on the ass.

"Oh, our civil rights! Oh, our Constitution. Oh, I can't get afford this or that anymore."

We, as a country need to go fuck ourselves.

Imagine if you couldn't have an opinion and state it. Imagine if your land was taken from you. Imagine if you were sold into slavery. Imagine if you couldn't afford to eat, let alone buy a new car this year. Imagine if your wife had to prostitute herself to buy formula for your child. Imagine if your traditions were smashed and your culture was taken away from you. Imagine if death really DID seem like a better alternative.

THAT'S fucking oppression. Not what these whiny mother fuckers call oppression.

But on the other hand, we have been raised with a certain expectation. We have been raised free, with the rights afforded to American citizens. So why SHOULD we give up ANY of out civil rights and liberties? We already HAD a Revolutionary War, we already HAD a Civil War, we already HAD civil rights movement.

We saw what happened in Nazi Germany and Communist Russia. We saw the Stasi and the SS and the KGB. We don't want this to happen here. NIMBY. Not In My Back Yard.

But now, we have this tragedy one year ago today. And some of us, because of this, are willing to sacrifice some of these liberties and rights for the feeling of safety.

Well, let me introduce you to the feelings of two other Americans...

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one" - President Thomas Jefferson

Get it?

We shouldn't have to be keeping an eye on our neighbors (as suggested by the T.I.P.S. program) or imprisoning people without trials, under the banner of just "suspicion".

This is not the America ANYONE envisioned.

You say Jefferson and Franklin are outdated, they are not from modern times. How could they know what it's like to watch the Twin Towers fall?

No, but they also lived through the Revolutionary War. When their very lives and way of living hung in the balance for YEARS of fighting. They saw their share of fellow patriots die. They put their own necks on the line by signing the Declaration of Independence. They understood and accepted this as risks worth taking.

So why can't we? Have we gotten too comfortable in our lives? Perhaps. Have we taken advantage of the system and it's gains for so long, we forgot that there is a cost for freedom? You betcha.

So then, going back to my original point, why am I at home instead of at work? Why don't I take these risks as I am preaching to the rest for us?

Because I am afraid, but not only of terrorists. I am afraid of assholes like Timothy McVeigh who might see today as a great opportunity to show the world their OWN agenda and take out a few other Americans while they're at it. Because I have grown up in a world of Columbine and Waco and Oklahoma City and McDonald's shootings and Rodney King riots and Charles Manson and Reagan being shot and the Pope being shot, Mandela being imprisoned and Biko being killed and I.R.A. bombings and Hale Bop Comet suicides and Sadat being assassinated and car bombings and Idi Amin and Pol Pot and Vietnam and Starkweather and Dahmer and DiFrisco and the Unabomber.

Don't know who DiFrisco is? He's the guy who killed my father.

I have watched all of this in my lifetime, I have read the stories of JFK and MLK and RFK and about Hitler and Stalin and Lenin and FDR.

And I know, seeing those towers come down, seeing the Pentagon attacked, I KNOW that anyone with an agenda can do WHATEVER the hell they want. To whoever they want. Whenever they want.

You see, I mentioned Henry Rollins' words before, and they are intelligent and true. But now, people are coming after us and not even giving a reason. There is no debate, there is no exchange, there is no "Say goodbye, Mr. Bond..."

They are just out to kill.

So here's how I look at it... An attack can happen at any time, from anywhere. But today, the odds are up, because the idiots out there might wanna make a statement. (As McVeigh did by blowing up that building in Oklahoma City on the 2nd anniversary of Waco's burning...)

And me, I like to play the odds.

And today, the odds are decidedly stacked against us. Tomorrow, I'll be fine. I'll be back on that train, trying not to think too much of scary things, and I'll be back at my desk, typing away on my PC.

But today, yeah, I'm gonna pay a little tribute, yeah, I'm gonna sit and watch hours of tv and probably cry a bit, but I'm gonna be home, with my wife.

Where I think, today, I belong.

Peace. Compassion. Empathy. Love.

"And now abides faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - St. Paul

"Everything Is Gonna Be All Right." - Bob Marley

Lee 9/11/2002 03:22:00 PM [+]

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

The Real Superman

The following was taken from an AP report. It is simply too cool to not share with you all...

NEW YORK (AP) - Christopher Reeve has regained some movement and sensation in his hands and feet, seven years after a horse-riding accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down.

The "Superman" star also can breathe on his own for 90 minutes at a time, according to an article in the Sept. 23 issue of People magazine.

"To be able to feel the just lightest touch is really a gift," Reeve said.

The actor has received treatment for the past three years through the "activity-based recovery program" that his doctor, John McDonald, created. The therapy consists of electrical muscle stimulation combined with repetitive motion exercises.

The results: Reeve can move the fingers on his left hand and the toes on both feet. He can feel a pin prick on most parts of his body and can tell the difference between hot and cold, and sharp and dull.

"No one who has suffered an injury as severe as Chris', and failed to have any initial recovery, has regained the amount of motor and sensory function he has," said McDonald, the medical director of the Spinal Cord Injury Program at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis.

Reeve had hoped to walk again by his 50th birthday, Sept. 25. But he says he's still encouraged, even though he won't reach that goal.

"The fact is that even if your body doesn't work the way it used to, the heart and the mind and the spirit are not diminished," he told the magazine. "It's as simple as that."

Reeve documents his progress in a new book, "Nothing is Impossible: Reflections on a New Life," and in an ABC program airing Sept. 18.

What's the difference with these two pictures? The picture on the right is a real hero...

Best wishes to Mr. Reeve and his family on his continued recovery. I too now believe you will walk again.


Lee 9/10/2002 02:13:00 PM [+]

Monday, September 09, 2002

Discuss Amongst Yourselves... Sad Songs

I have decided to continue a conversation that started with Bronwyn on Friday and continued with UE yesterday. Only here I am going to expand my own list. Why? This is my site, and I pay for it. Quite simply, I'll do what I like here... =o)

So what I figure I'll do is list some of my favorite sad songs and then let you all write in with your own, and whether you agree or disagree with mine.

1. "Still Looking For A Way To Say Goodbye" - Richie Havens - Okay, you wanna just be DEVASTATED by a song, look no further than this. This was on the soundtrack to the movie "Wired" and I suggest it to anyone who can deal with emotions.

2. "When The Tigers Broke Free" - Pink Floyd (Echoes) - Roger Water's railing at the heavens over the death of his father in World War II. Both one of the saddest and the angriest songs I have EVER heard.

3. "1,000 Oceans" - Tori Amos (To Venus And Back) - The song Tori wrote about her miscarriage... You don't get much sadder than this, folks.

4. "Little Did She Know (She Kissed A Hero)" - Kristy Jackson - Released soon after the 9/11 attacks last year. A song written from to the wives of the men who tried to retake Flight 93. Chilling.

5. "7 O'Clock News / Silent Night" - Simon And Garfunkel (Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme) - A somber Silent Night played by the duo while the Christmas version of the 7 O'Clock news slowly gets louder, discussing Vietnam, Charles Starkweather and Lenny Bruce's fatal OD... This puts a lot of life into perspective. It is played in my home EVERY Christmas. Sobering thought.

6. "Where've You Been?" - Kathy Mattea - About a married couple as they get older. Ends up with them in the hospital at the same time... This WAS my grandparents lives... I just can't...

7. "Nobody's Hero" - Rush (Counterparts) - A song about the reality of AIDS and tolerance. It just chokes me up every time I hear it...

8. "Empty Garden (Hey Hey Johnny)" - Elton John - Amazing how one insect can ruin so much grain... Indeed. And I keep calling, "Hey, hey Johnny..."

9. "Silent All These Years" - Tori Amos (Little Earthquakes) - The oppressed girl in the bad relationship finally stands up for herself. Years go by and I choke on my tears until finally there is nothing left...

10. "Night Shift" - The Commodores - A tribute to two fallen friends, Jackie Wilson and Marvin Gaye. And if you love them like I do, you feel the pain as well... To silence thos incredible voices forever...

11. "Helplessly Hoping" - CSNY - Wow, just a hauntingly beautiful song. The harmonies are as close to perfect as you can get.

12. "Safe And Sound" - Sheryl Crow (C'mon, C'mon) - To me, this is the theme song for all the rescue workers at ground zero, who worked for months, hour upon hour, risking their lives to try and find somebody, ANYBODY in there... Feel like I could have saved you...

13. "Imagine" - John Lennon or Neil Young - Lennon's version because I danced with my mother at my wedding to it, in tribute to my father. Neil Young's because of his playing it at the tribute to heroes after 9/11.

14. "The Needle And The Damage Done" - Neil Young - Neil's guitarist had been fired for being completely wasted on drugs all the time. Neil gave him money to get a bus home, he ended up buying the herion shot that would kill him. This haunted Neil for years.

15. "The Hurricane" - Bob Dylan - When you know the story, or you see the movie, this song makes you terribly sad for Reuben Carter, and at the same time pissed off that this happened to him.

16. "The Ghost Of Tom Joad" - Bruce Springsteen - Wherever you see a man struggling to be free, just look in their eyes ma, and you'll see me... A quote from the "Grapes Of Wrath" a great book and movie.

17. "Into The Fire" - Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band (The Rising) - A song directly about the firefighters who lost their lives on 9/11 by fearlessly running into the flames while everyone else was trying to get out.

I wanna hear some sad songs for you. Even if they are only personally sad (Like "Leader Of The Band" always gets me because of my dad having been a musician, and I followed in his footsteps...)

So what say you?

Lee 9/09/2002 10:49:00 AM [+]

Thursday, September 05, 2002

Fat Bastard

Okay folks, total honesty time here. Brutal honesty.

I, your ever loveable Potch, am a fat bastard.

(The crowd gasps in surprise!)

No, it's true. I am hefty, obese, porky, pudgy, plump, flabby, round, extra large and when I sit around the house, I sit AROUND the house.

Ha fucking ha.

I've heard them all. Hell, I tell them all to beat some of the fuckheads out there to the punch, to not give them the satisfaction of seeing what a bad putdown artist I am.

In general, my family and friends have been amazingly supportive. They never bring up my weight, they "don't go there."

But, I have to.

I am 31 years old, I am 6 feet tall and I weigh about 350 lbs. Talk about tons O' fun, huh? (See, I can't stop myself...)

Six years ago, I weighed 270 lbs., what I weighed when I graduated High School. (No Rob reference, hold yer booze, folks... Wait, I just did... Drink...)

I have put on 80 lbs. in six years due to both a diet of junk food and soda and a complete and total lack of exercise.

The state I am in right now? Well, let's see...

1. It is September and I have used all of my sick and personal day already. (all but one due to being ill)

2. My left heel hurts CONSTANTLY, and especially bad when I get out of bed.

3. My lower back always hurts.

4. I get winded going up even a small flight of stairs.

5. I finish dinner and IMMEDIATELY grab a snack... ALL the time.

6. I don't look good in dress clothes anymore.

7. I have acid reflux so bad that often I have to run to the bathroom two or three times a night because food is coming back up while I sleep.

8. My snoring (always bad) is now accompanied by Cheyne Stoking, where you actually STOP BREATHING while you sleep. I also have sleep apnea.

Now, I look forward to having children someday soon. In fact, according to the loose "plan" my wife and I made a few year back, I could be a father this time next year. I doubt it, but we could. And let me tell you, I want kids real bad.

But, how can I expect to chase a child around all day when I can't even run anymore? God forbid the kid is in danger, and I can't save them? Because I'm too fat?

Fuck that noise.

This is something that has been coming for a long time, but much quicker lately. Actually, what really got me scared was three things.

1. This obesity special on The Discovery Channel. It had those 700 lbs. bed-ridden people on it. I am terrified of this happening to me, especially since moving has begun to hurt these days...

2. The Blues Traveler Behind The Music where John Popper says that he was having chest pains for about 3 months, then blacked out at a show. When they checked him out, they found one of the arteries to his heart was 95% blocked. "It's as close to a heart attack you can come without having one."

3. Cardinals pitcher Darryl Kile's death. The autopsy showed that three of this arteries were almost completely clogged! An athlete! A picture of health!

So I got scared. Fuck, I AM scared. I have abused the shit out of myself for many years now. Who knows how much damage I have done to myself? Hopefully nothing too serious, but I don't know.

So I have decided to stop it all, cold. I am weaning myself off soda (I have switched to all diet for now, but within weeks, I want that to be none), I have replaced breakfast with a Slim Fast shake, I am NOT binge eating, I am NOT snacking. I AM drinking lots of water. I AM exercising (brisk walking 30-40 minutes a day).

I have had ENOUGH already!

I am sick of being sick!

I want to be able to buy normal clothes. To run with my children. To play softball again.

And I will. My goal is 300 or less by Christmas. I WILL do it. Not because I should. Because I have to.

I have to change my life or I risk dying young. And dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know? Really!

So thank you to all who have thrown any support my way, this won't be easy, but nothing worth having is easy.

All I ask is please don't offer me any cake or cookies. I am done with them, no matter how much I may want them.

Lee 9/05/2002 10:59:00 AM [+]

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